'S' is for server... 'S' is for safety

For me, the experience of discerning the line between when a customer is most likely to tip well, or not tip at all, is analogous to playing billiards. I don't know about you, but when shooting pool I'm sharpest at about three drinks. Sober, and I over-analyze; drunk, and I just get carelessly sloppy.

In the latest publication of Windsor's Magazine, entitled "the A -Z trade secrets issue," editor Derrick Ruston offers

"informative bits revealing the inside scoops from various professions including doctors, bartenders, and alligator wrestlers."

Mr. Ruston advises bartenders on the art of pouring drinks in a manner that provides customers with the sense that they are maximizing their booze-dollar. To servers, he supplies a suggestion on how to increase sales; maintaining that one should

"always make sure that the slowest drinker is constantly topped up."

Although I understand Ruston's reasoning, I do not necessarily agree with his philosophy. The issue I choose to question does not concern alcohol consumption per se, rather the benefits (or lack thereof) of keeping my customers drinking.

The biggest drinker is not always the biggest tipper.

My point? As a server, you've got to sell a few drinks otherwise there is no money to be made. But don't over-serve because, once inebriated, the ability of customers to determine tip-percentage often becomes too great a task.

I do not wish to convey that my only concern in over-serving alcohol lies in how much money I will earn. I raise the issue because my income depends upon my tips, as it does for many others within the service industry.

As a server awareness is essential not only to optimize gratuity, but also as a matter of safety. A concern well addressed by Jessie Jane in her post "Bartender Heroes and Other Amazing Tales."

Jane maintains that being a bartender

"comes with a host of other responsibilities beyond mixing up liquid deliciousness or playing therapist to the after-work crowd."

Bartenders and servers

"have a responsibility to our customers to provide a safe drinking environment. It's one of the reasons we can be personally held liable for serving underage drinkers, or serving intoxicated guests who then proceed to kill someone in a car accident."

My job may be frightening in ways never considered by individuals who have no experience within the industry. I do attempt to keep as close an eye as possible on who has had how much to drink, and which customers intend upon driving home from the pub. It is not always easy.

Please, tip your server and more importantly, take a cab if you've had too much. I know you know this. To you, I'm simply offering a reminder. Act upon those things you know in order to make wise choices.

If interested, I advise you to further explore Canadian Social Host Liability.

Oh, Mr. Robbins... thank you.

Do you recognize her?

I am the sort of person who does not open my mail for weeks. Pardon me, what I intend is: I do not 'check' my mail for weeks at a time, but as soon as I do, I read it. This tendency of mine extends into the virtual world as well.

Recently I opened an e-mail, sent to me over two weeks ago, which made my day. Maybe I should work on this tendency of mine? to allow the passage of time before acknowledging intention... maybe I am an overly analytical girl.

I am lucky enough, in my life, to share in the experience of friendships which blow my mind. I am lucky enough to have people in my life, who attempt to make my days better; by whatever increment.

Wonderful friend #1 achieved such a feat (i.e, dang great day, 'cause I felt some love) in her mailing me an excerpt of Tom Robbins latest publication. Ms. Gill knows me. She knows who and what I love, and she knows what I've been attempting to accomplish through my With Bated Breath posts. She sent me some material. via hotmail, to muse over. Material she thought I might choose to share.

I've alway been good in the sandbox. I like to share.

Tom Robbins is one of my most favorite contemporary authors. He's not for everyone (who is?), but if you like him, he's not likable; he's lovable. I love his work.

Wild Ducks Flying Backwards is an anthology of brief writings over Robbins' career, in which he offers an exposition of, in his words, the "Genius Waitress."

"Of the genius waitress, I now sing."

Sing Tom, sing.

"As a type, the genius waitress is sweet and sassy, funny and smart; young, underestimated, fatalistic, weary, cheery (not happy cheerful: there’s a difference and she understands it), a tad bohemian, often borderline alcoholic, frequently pretty (though her hair reeks of kitchen and bar); as independent as a cave bear (though ever hopeful of “true love”) and, above all, genuine."

Mr. Robbins has much more to say about the Genius Waitiress, but what do I have to say?

While Tom's interpretation is simultaneously humorous, and poignant; subjectively romantic, and objectively perceptive; he has forgotten something.

The Genius Waitress muti-tasks like a mo-fo. The Genius Waitress has the memory of a thousand-year old elephant. She approaches a table of ten without a pen; she balances her life as precariously, yet efficiently, as she balances entrées upon her forearm.

Grant me arrogance, and understand that I am not an arrogant person. I am balancing a tri-life.

Mother.
Student.
Waitress.

It's tricky. It is rewarding on all fronts.

I'm a genius?
Wowza.
Thanks Tom.

"I celebrate myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."
- Walt Whitman
Leaves of Grass [Song of Myself]