Nightmare Hippie Girl

What is a 'hippie'?

According to Beck's
Nightmare Hippie Girl,

"...She's a magical, sparklin tease
Shes a rainbow chokin the breeze...

...She's cooking salad for breakfast
Shes got tofu the size of texas...

...She's playin footsie in another dimension
Shes a goddess milking her time for all that its worth."

Merriam-Webster Online defines "hippie" as

"a usually young person who rejects the mores of established society (as by dressing unconventionally or favoring communal living) and advocates a nonviolent ethic."

Blogger of The Insane Waiter, Secret, believes that

"[hippies] are generally poor tippers, smell like patchouli and have gross hygeine. They are even worse to work with ... [and] are among the least motivated employees, this may be because they feel they should give their attention to activism such as saving baby seals or global warming or poverty."

Wow.

In his post, Effin Hippies, Secret further describes 'hippies' using such colourful adjectives as "slow and ignorant." He maintains that they "speak lazily," "take years at the computer," and "don't take any sort of direction well."

Perhaps, once upon a time, somebody's ex opted to pack her patchouli-infused possessions into the trunk of a VW, belonging to a baby seal-saving better deal. Did she hit the open road that led opposite of Secret? Maybe. Maybe he just had an awful week before sitting down to compose "Effin Hippies." I don't know.

What I do know is that I find his condescension, and his self-righteous tone disconcerting. Especially considering the fact that he holds a management position as a head waiter. How may one so judgmental be effectively responsible for overseeing the organization of numerous employees? He cannot. Be effective, that is.

Although Secret may hold valid complaints regarding the work habits of particular employees, his approach seems rather asinine, and therefore unproductive. (Does that make him a hippie too?) After his instructions to replace a laundry hamper bag where not followed, Secret responded with:

"This is what happens when you leave a hippie in charge of something, shit all over the floor, its a good thing they don't run the world or we'd all be fucked."

Why would an employee desire to cooperate with this guy?

I consider myself to be possessed of an admirable work ethic. Oh, I'm as prone, as anyone else, to making mistakes (like being late for a shift), but on the job I am not lazy or irresponsible. Most evenings run smoothly. I efficiently serve my tables, finish my side duties, and help others if I've the opportunity. But these factors do not solely contribute to a seamless night. Employee morale is as necessary, to happy customers, as clean linen and well-prepared food.

I have had both, the experience of working in an environment conducive to practical jokes and the "laid back" attitude Secret so seems to despise, and working for an employer whose very presence creates tension among employees.

The latter experience usually lends itself to a hectic and disorganized shift, which customers are most certainly aware of. Feeling frazzled and disrespected by management is not the frame of mind anyone wishes to be in when approaching a table. Nor is is the frame of mind I would desire my server to approach me in, as a customer.

I'd rather be a Nightmare Hippie Girl than a Secret Hippie.