A Place Where Everybody Knows

"...A box of chocolates and a long stemmed rose..."

-Leonard Cohen

Does Everybody know?

In her blog, "Lights, Camera, ... Strip?," Ellen Mace explores sexuality within the film industry. In her latest post, "Cheating? pphfff.. Who Cares? It's 'True Love'," Ellen implicitly poses the question: When is infidelity immoral?

Hmm... Does It count (i.e., is an action defined as cheating) if It's 'true love'? This is a metaphor, is it not?

How can love (an emotional response) be true (a philosophical concept)?

I'd like to play with Ms. Mace's metaphor, at the risk of inflating it to cumulonimbus proportions, and extend her question:

What if, for you, 'true love' were defined, not by the attributes of your high-school sweetheart, but by the features of your favorite watering hole? What if 'true love' were defined by the bartender serving you the dirtiest drinks; at the cheapest prices? In this context, is cheating wrong?


Before you judge me as an over-extender, allow me to fill any of you non-service kids in on a not-so-secret, but quite relevant truism, within the industry: Regulars often view spending their money in a place that they don't habitually frequent as a betrayal to their preferred establishment.

Sharing the pocket wealth, as a Regular, between a pocket full of places is acceptable; randomly sauntering up to the first available bar is not. So social etiquette goes, as a particular breed of insider.

Choose to believe me, or not, but Fidelity is alive; puffin' a smoke in the chilly October air with His beer warming on the bar. Ever patient, His beer awaits, under the watchful eye of His confidant; His liquid-lover pimp.

To a server, regulars are wonderful, essential, and (at times) a bit overbearing . Regulars and servers share a unique, love-hate relationship. Familiarity breeds contempt? I say it may also breed love. Intrusiveness however, conceals no love; it is nastiness through, and through.

In hitting the town, do you consciously gravitate to a place where you feel you can "get away?"

"Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came?" Do "you wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same?"

I do.

When I choose to spend a night out imbibing, I do so in the company, not only of friends, but in the company of servers who give a shit about me.

My experience within the industry, has granted me insight. I am aware of the fact that my regular bartenders care about me, because I care about my Regulars as individuals.

I am however, also aware of The Line.

I am not entitled to the private details of my server's life simply by virtue of being a Regular. My server owes me nothing but service; if he/she chooses to offer me more the choice is not mine, but theirs to make.

Do I think that a Regular's opting for another waitress, or pub, is cheating? No. Unless said Regular is unaware of The Line, in which case the issue of betrayal becomes that of another human being's privacy.

Respect yourself; respect your fellow human being; respect The Line.